Phobia
by Prinzessin
Summary: Everyone has a phobia. What's Virgil's?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Phobia

Summary: Everyone has a phobia. What's Virgil's?

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I could lay claim to them, I can't. The Thunderbirds and those gorgeous Tracy brothers belong to others.

A/N: Set in their adolescence. And Virgil is the middle child in this.

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Chapter One: The Parade and the Fair

Virgil really didn't want to go to parade. In general, he liked them. He liked the floats, the balloons, and the performers. What he didn't like were the hoards of people that attended them. He hated being squeezed in with people he didn't know. He really hated not being able to see or to move. He really, really hated it when he felt like he couldn't breathe.

So when Grandma Tracy asked her five grandsons if they wanted to attend that year's Autumn Festival Parade, Virgil was the only one who said no. He'd rather watch on TV from the comfort of his living room. But his brothers ganged up on him, teasing him unmercifully until he changed his mind. But he knew he was going to regret it.

At the age of twelve, Virgil Tracy was still a relatively small boy. Fifteen-year-old Scott towered over him, even thirteen-year-old John was a full head taller. And Grandma only had two hands, and one held the hand of nine-year-old Alan and the other held onto eleven-year-old Gordon's. Not that Gordon wanted to hold his grandmother's hand, but since he was a wanderer, she held onto his.

Virgil wanted to stay in the back of the crowd, but no one else did. Everyone else wanted front row places. So the family made their way to the front, Scott shoving a reluctant Virgil along. The parade got underway and soon Virgil got caught in the mass of people around him. He tried moving a few steps one way to ease the pressure, but when that didn't work, he'd move another step or two another way. And soon enough, he was separated from his family.

He looked around anxiously, searching for a familiar person. When he couldn't find his grandmother or brothers, he began to panic. And then the crush of the crowd fell upon him and he discovered he couldn't breathe. He crossed his arms over his chest, desperately trying to get a good breath. But it was no use. Tears of fear were streaming down his face. He wanted to run but couldn't. There was no way out.

He didn't hear anyone calling his name. The tears prevented him from seeing someone coming his way, shoving people aside.

"Virgil!" Scott exclaimed when he found his little brother. "What's wrong?"

But Virgil couldn't answer, he just shook his head. Scott had already noticed the tears, and he then noticed that Virgil wasn't breathing well. Since Scott was noticeably bigger than Virgil, he picked his brother up and carried him out of the crowd. It wasn't until they were well away that Scott put his brother down.

"Come on, Virgil," Scott said. "Calm down, it's okay now."

Virgil still clung to Scott, and Scott got him to calm down enough so that he could breathe normally. Scott, with Virgil clinging to his hand, went to a nearby stand to buy a bottle of water and get some napkins. While Virgil took small sips of water, Scott dried his brother's face. They sat down on a stone wall, Virgil close to his older brother. Scott watched as Virgil drank the water, and refused when Virgil offered him some. Once he saw that Virgil had calmed down enough, he went about finding out what happened.

"Too many people," Virgil answered. "I tried getting away from them, giving myself a little more space. But then I couldn't find you or anyone. And I couldn't breathe because of all the people there. Then you found me."

"That's why you didn't want to come today. You knew there would be too many people," Scott guessed, and Virgil nodded.

"I don't like being in crowds, or just feeling trapped," Virgil explained.

Scott put his arm around his brother's shoulders. "Sorry about before. We shouldn't have made you come."

"You didn't know."

"But I do now. You don't want to go back there, do you?"

"I'll stay right here. I won't move."

"Like I'm gonna leave you alone," Scott replied. "Anyway, I've had enough of Gordon's whining."

"What's he whining about now?"

"He's hungry, he's bored, he wants this, he wants that… and Alan was getting in on the act. Grandma's got an infinite amount of patience when it comes to those two."

Grandma Tracy, along with John, Gordon, and Alan, found the other two when the parade was over. After telling John not to let go of his youngest brothers' hands, she kneeled in front of Virgil and Scott.

"Where did you go?" she asked in a reprimanding tone. "You scared us."

"I'm sorry, Grandma," Virgil replied, his head down.

"It's not his fault, Grandma," Scott said.

"Well, let's get this bunch back into the car and on our way home. I still have dinner to cook," she replied, recognizing the look that Scott was giving her.

For Virgil, it was a quiet ride back. He didn't say much, he just listened as Alan and Gordon told him what he'd missed. At the house, once Gordon and Alan were busy watching some TV, and John had a book in his hands, Grandma had a chat with Virgil and Scott.

Virgil told her what he'd told Scott. She listened carefully, nodding every so often. And then Scott added in a few details of his own.

"My dear, you're claustrophobic," she said when they were done.

"Claustro-what?" Virgil said.

"Claustrophobic. You have claustrophobia, an intense fear of enclosed spaces. And what happened today was a panic attack," she explained.

"I'm afraid of enclosed spaces," he sighed, looking down at the table.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, dear," Grandma said.

"I've got four brothers, Grandma. They'll never let me live it down," Virgil replied.

"Hey, I'm not telling anyone but Dad. It's good for him to know so we can avoid this in the future," Scott said. "As far as I'm concerned, John, Gordon and Alan don't need to know."

Virgil looked over at Scott and said, "Thank you," gratefully.

Scott just ruffled his brother's hair in response.

"Now, Virgil, I want you to take it easy tonight. You're going to be tired," Grandma said. "And I want both of you out of my kitchen. I've got cooking to do and you both will only get in my way."

So Scott led Virgil into the den where their brothers were. John looked up to see them enter, and the two others were too engrossed in their cartoon to notice.

"So, what happened?" John asked Virgil

"Just got separated. It's nothing," Virgil answered.

John knew Virgil well enough to know that he was lying and looked over his head at Scott. But Scott just shook his head. Later on, after dinner, John and Scott talked in Scott's bedroom while Virgil was practicing on the piano and the two youngest were with their grandmother.

"So, what did happen?" John asked. "And don't tell me nothing. I know better."

"You can't tell him I told you," Scott said. "And don't you dare tease him for this either. He's upset about it enough as it is."

"What?" John asked.

"He didn't want to go today because he knew there would be a lot of people. And I guess the crowd got to him and he had a panic attack."

"A panic attack?"

"Yeah. John, he scared the daylights out of me. When I found him he couldn't breathe well."

"Just from all the people?"

Scott nodded. "According to Grandma, he's claustrophobic."

"Intense fear of enclosed spaces," John said. "That explains a lot. Don't worry, I won't let on that I know. And I most certainly won't make fun over this either."

The next day was the day of the Autumn Festival Fair. There weren't usually a lot of people since it wasn't a fair with rides. It was just a lot of displays and stands and some games and a lot of food. And Grandma Tracy wanted to bring her grandsons to it. But she was worried how Virgil would react since she could tell he was still a little high-strung from the previous day. After she'd gotten her grandsons breakfast, she told the two youngest to start getting ready for the fair. Then she sent John upstairs for the same reason, wanting a minute with Virgil and Scott.

"Virgil, if you don't want to go, it's fine. I'll stay with you," Scott said once Grandma had explained the fair.

"There aren't a lot of people?" Virgil asked his grandmother.

She shook her head. "Not usually. And they usually only crowd around the demonstrations, which I doubt would interest you anyway."

"I think I'll be okay then," Virgil said, nodding.

"When we get there, we'll find ourselves a meeting place in case anyone gets separated," Grandma replied, then shooed Virgil upstairs to start getting ready.

"I'll keep an eye on him," Scott said before his grandmother could say anything.

"Good," she smiled. "Then go on up and get ready."

The fair was a little better attended then Grandma expected, and she worried for Virgil. But he seemed to be handling it well, sticking close to Scott whenever he was surrounded by people. Since John did know about the situation, he'd also keep an eye out as well. They decided on their meeting point and then they headed into the heart of the fair.

They'd been in there for quite a while, having seen a lot and eaten some, when Virgil started getting nervous. The two youngest wanted to play the games, and Grandma thought it would be good for them all to play some and win some prizes. John was the first to notice that Virgil was anxiously looking around him, and he could tell his younger brother was beginning to panic.

John poked Scott in the ribs and whispered, "Virgil."

Scott looked over to see the same thing that John did. Scott told John to tell Grandma and he grabbed Virgil's hand and led him away to the meeting point. Virgil sat on the bench and Scott sat next to him.

"I'm sorry," Virgil said.

"Hey, it's okay, kiddo," Scott replied.

"I should just stay home from now on."

"Nah, we've just got to make sure we avoid crowds."

"That plan didn't work so well today."

"We'll talk to Dad and see what he says. He may know of a way to make this better."

Virgil nodded, but said nothing more. John found them a minute later, sitting on Virgil's other side from Scott.

"You okay?" John asked.

"Yeah," Virgil answered.

"Grandma said she'd finish up with Gordon and Alan with the games. And then we can get some dinner here if you're up to it," John reported.

"I'm okay now," Virgil replied. "There were just too many people over there."

Since John wasn't supposed to know, he just nodded.

"John?" Virgil asked a bit later.

"Yeah, Virge?"

"Is there a cure for claustrophobia?"

"A cure?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not sure. It's not a sickness like a cold or the flu. Why?"

"Grandma says I have it. That's why I don't like crowds or small spaces."

John smiled at Scott over Virgil's head. "I think there are ways to make it better."

"Good. I don't want to be stuck at the house," Virgil replied.

"He thinks he should stay home all the time to avoid these situations," Scott explained, avoiding the term 'panic attacks' on purpose.

"Virge, you've been out lots before without a problem," John said. "So this weekend wasn't the best, it doesn't mean you have to stay home."

"What if no one's around? I could die from not breathing," Virgil argued.

"You won't die. The worst you'll do is pass out," John replied.

"Then I could fall down stairs, or crack my head open, or…"

"Virgil! Stop it, will you?" Scott exclaimed, exasperated. "You won't die. I promise."

And, at the time, when Scott promised something, Virgil knew he could count on it.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I could lay claim to them, I can't. The Thunderbirds and those gorgeous Tracy brothers belong to others.

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Chapter Two: Tunnel Crawling

Ten years later

International Rescue had been called to Vienna, Austria. Explosions had ripped through the underground passages underneath a cathedral and people were trapped. They were unable to use the Mole since the foundation was too unsteady and the last thing they wanted was for that to crumble underneath the weight of the massive building on it. John, stationed aboard Thunderbird Five, was using thermodynamic imager to find the people still trapped. Since Alan was prepping for his rotation on Thunderbird Five, it was only Gordon, Scott and Virgil on this rescue. And since Virgil was the smallest of the three, he got chosen to go tunnel crawling.

"John, can you still hear me?" Virgil asked. It was the same question he posed to John every other minute since he was underground.

"I'm still reading you," John replied.

"You sure you're reading heat signatures here?" was the usual follow-up question.

"Yes, Virgil, for the fiftieth time, I'm sure. You're not too far away now."

"That's what you said ten minutes ago."

"Not my fault you crawl slow."

"I want to see you do this faster."

"Both of you!" Scott's voice came over.

"You want to come down here, Scott? I wouldn't mind getting out of this de…tunnel," Virgil said, deciding not to use the term 'death trap' in case there's anyone in hearing distance.

"You okay, Virge?" Scott asked, catching that last second change of words.

"I'm in a tight tunnel a good twenty feet below the surface. I'm just peachy. How are you doing up top on Terra Firma?"

Scott sighed audibly. "Waiting for your slow butt to get to those people."

Virgil muttered something in German that earned a snicker from John.

"What did he say?" Scott asked.

"Nothing," Virgil immediately answered.

"Nothing I'm translating," John added.

Then the ground shook again, and Virgil knew that the foundation wasn't going to hold for too much longer. Virgil flattened himself against the tunnel's floor and waited for it to cave in and bury him alive. He was relieved that didn't happen, but didn't want to stay there any longer.

"Virgil?" John asked.

Nothing. Virgil had yet to open his eyes.

"Virgil?" John repeated, his voice louder.

Virgil got his eyes open and looked around. He wasn't buried alive.

"Remember that parade…" Virgil began.

"You're still that claustrophobic?" Scott asked.

"Not that bad. But I'm now feeling like I'm going to get buried alive."

"Back out of there before we have to come get you too," Scott said.

"Negative, not after all this. If I'm as close to those people as John says I am…"

"You are," John threw in.

"Then I might as well stick it out. Just don't expect me to come back in here once I'm out there," Virgil finished.

"Alright, but don't you dare start hyperventilating on me. You scared me enough then," Scott replied. "And keep talking to us."

Virgil kept going, albeit his pace was a little quicker. But he did so in silence, and neither Scott nor John liked it.

"Almost there, Virgil?" Scott asked once the silence from his younger brother had gotten the best of him.

"I don't know. Ask John," Virgil answered.

"Yes," John sighed.

And again, Virgil muttered something in German. This time it was meant for John.

"Now what?" Scott asked.

"Nothing that was meant for your ears," Virgil answered.

"John?"

"I'm not about to translate that. I just want to know where he learned that brand of German from," John answered.

"I did have a girlfriend from Germany when I was in college, remember?" Virgil said.

"We'll have to talk about that tomorrow once I'm planetside," John replied.

"About…hey! I hear voices!" Virgil exclaimed.

"Told you that you were close," John muttered, but he was ignored.

It took some work, but Virgil managed to get the five trapped people free. Once those five were on the surface, Virgil climbed out. At the beginning, they dug a hole straight down into the tunnel. So Gordon, who'd been listening in on this banter and had no idea what they were talking about the parade for, helped Scott get the people out of the tunnel. And then it was Virgil's turn. Once Scott hauled Virgil to his feet from the hole, they went about their business until everything was secure and they were given clearance to go.

Virgil helped Scott pack up Mobile Control while Gordon finished other things. Inside Thunderbird One, Virgil stopped just short of leaving when they were both done.

"Hey Scott," he said, catching his brother's attention.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Keeping me going down there. After that tremor, I was beginning to get nervous all over again."

"Virgil, if you weren't…"

"Before then I was okay. It was just the thought of being buried alive down there that got me started. You kept me going… you and John. I'll thank him tomorrow when he gets back."

"Hey, anytime."

Virgil left to help Gordon while Scott prepared Thunderbird One for takeoff. Once everything as done and they were in the air, Gordon asked about the parade.

"It was nothing, Gordon."

"Liar."

"Gordon?"

"It wasn't nothing. I knew it then and I know it now. Something happened there."

"I had a panic attack brought about by claustrophobia," Virgil sighed.

"You're claustrophobic?"

"Yes. It doesn't bother me much anymore, I've gotten used to it. Just sometimes it hits me out of the middle of nowhere."

"How come you didn't tell us then?"

"Yeah, I'm going to tell my kid brothers that I'm claustrophobic. Hell, I expect to get tormented over it now."

"Not from me."

Virgil looked over at Gordon. "Huh?"

"How many times have you put yourself in tight spots, literally? C'mon, to be claustrophobic and still be able to pull that off, that's cool."

"You heard John, right?"

"He was about to wring your neck."

"That's why we were going back and forth like that. It was to give me something else to focus on. We learned that by distracting me, I don't focus on the tight space I'm in."

"So that's why Scott picks fights with you so often?"

"Scott would do that anyway. Now he just as an excuse."

"I take it Alan doesn't know."

Virgil shook his head. "I didn't want either of you to know."

"Hey, you've got enough on me as it is," Gordon replied. "I'll keep this one for you."

"Thanks, Gordo," Virgil replied.

The rest of the flight back was made in either a comfortable silence or a comfortable conversation.

The next day Jeff and Alan went up to Thunderbird Five so that Alan and John could switch off.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I could lay claim to them, I can't. The Thunderbirds and those gorgeous Tracy brothers belong to others.

---

Chapter Three: Warm Cookies and Cold Beer

It was a quiet night on Tracy Island. And one that John was determined to enjoy. He'd just returned from Thunderbird Five, leaving an unhappy Alan up there. But it was John's turn for a month planetside. So after spending the afternoon in the sun, dinner with his family and the evening with his brothers, he was still wound-up and unable to sleep. But he usually needed a night or two to readjust to sleeping on the island. So, in the midst of his sleeplessness, he wondered into the kitchen. In the refrigerator, he unburied the tube of cookie dough and set it on the counter.

Oh, how Grandma Tracy would have a fit if she ever saw that.

He got the oven preheated, lined a cookie sheet with aluminum foil, and sliced some of the dough into cookies.

"I hope you're making enough for two," he heard someone say from the doorway.

He looked up to see Virgil standing there, leaning against the doorjam. The only evidence that he'd even attempted sleep was his unruly hair.

"I will now," John replied, slicing a few more.

Virgil came in and sat at the breakfast nook, across from where John was working.

"Can't sleep?" Virgil asked.

"First night back," John answered. "Never can. What's your excuse?"

Virgil just shrugged and John knew that there was something on his younger brother's mind. He intended to ask about it soon enough, once the cookies were done.

"I heard Alan's not too happy about doing his stint up there," Virgil said, pointing up in reference to Thunderbird Five.

John laughed a bit. "He never is. It takes him away from Tin-Tin."

Virgil smiled, but offered nothing in response. The two brothers sat in a comfortable silence until John announced that the cookies were done. He took them from the oven and let them sit for a couple of minutes before serving them on paper towels. But before they went out onto the patio, John grabbed a couple beers from the refrigerator. John led Virgil onto the patio, where they sat next to each other.

"Here's to being planetside once again, big brother," Virgil said.

"Being planetside," John repeated, and they clinked their bottles together in a toast.

"It's been too long," Virgil said after a minute.

"What?"

"Warm cookies and cold beer," Virgil laughed.

"You still can't legally do this in the US," John laughed, referring to the fact that the US was still the only country in the world to have a legal drinking age of 21 instead of 18.

"I can everywhere else. Including here."

After a few minutes of companionable silence, John asked, "What's on your mind?"

Virgil just glanced at John, he'd been staring off at the stars. "Huh?"

"Don't try it. I know you, Virgil. Something's on your mind."

"Just don't tell Scott, alright?"

John sighed. "Of course I won't tell Scott."

"I nearly freaked at yesterday's rescue," Virgil admitted. "I mean, Scott knows I was getting nervous. I just don't want him to know how close to freaking out I really was."

John furrowed his brow in concentration. "The tunnel?"

Virgil nodded. "When I was in there and it shook. I really thought I was going to be buried alive. I almost started panicking again."

"Well, you didn't. You got to those people and got them out."

"Thanks to you."

"What did I do? Beside be a pain in your rear end."

"You kept me talking…kept me focused…you kept me from panicking. After the tremor, I was frozen until you got through to me. You and Scott kept me going down there."

"Then we did what we wanted."

"Huh?"

"While you were getting ready to go down there, Scott and I had a talk of our own. We weren't sure how you'd take being down there alone, so we decided on the distraction tactic. Scott really didn't want you going down there, but it would've been more difficult for Gordon or him to go."

"They would've had some problems. I almost got stuck in a few places. That's why I was so slow… well, partly why."

"Well, you made it in and out just fine."

"Just don't ask me to do that again for a long time. And now Gordon knows."

"You told him?"

"He heard the comment about the parade and asked. He said he wouldn't tell Alan."

"You believe him?"

"Yeah," Virgil said with a grin.

"What do you have on him?"

"Enough to ensure his silence."

John just laughed, he knew Virgil would never tell him.

John was definitely glad to be home. And there's nothing like warm cookies and cold beer on a quiet night with his younger brother.

"Virgil, about that last comment to me in German yesterday…"

A/N: This chapter was totally brought about my own desire for the warm cookies/cold beer combo. I learned it from a friend when I was in college (except we used toaster ovens to make cookies and she had to buy the beer). Exceptionally good…and I miss it lots now.


End file.
